7 ways to deal with selfish partners
Basically, a person's selfishness can be inherent in the character of each individual since childhood. These characters eventually develop into adulthood, so that they have an impact on family or household relationships with partners.
This condition makes it difficult for Mama to change the behavior of a selfish partner overnight. Even though it takes a long time, be sure to never give up without trying to solve this problem in various ways.Starting from good communication, consistency and patience to face the selfish partner. That way, Mama and your partner can definitely become better individuals for each other.
Reporting from the Mom Junction page, the following yukdietsehat.com has summarized several ways to deal with a selfish partner.
1. Discuss carefully, try not to keep complaining
One of the biggest mistakes we make when we deal with our partner's selfishness is complaining too much. It doesn't matter how disappointed you are or how inconsiderate your partner is, as much as possible never call them selfish. It will only make them defensive. Instead, try to convey your expectations to him.
If it is your husband's turn to take the children to school and he can easily impose this responsibility on you, then you should discuss it and provide an explanation. Moms doesn't hurt to explain to your partner if you can't do it because you have to work or are doing other activities. Firmness like that is important, you know.
2. Focus on the positive
There may be some circumstances in which your partner will prove to be selfish. But other times, there may be one situation where your partner will put you and your children first. This means that there is still room for change.
Instead of always thinking about your partner's selfish attitude or behavior, try to focus on one good treatment of your husband and don't forget to continue to support him so that he can change for the better.
For example, when your partner doesn't usually get involved in your parents' business. But on one occasion she volunteered to take care of your parents, so respect her attitude. A small thing like that can bring a big change to a household relationship.
3. Give responsibility to the partner
You may unconsciously always take care of every responsibility. This will actually provide a little opportunity for the couple to do anything at home.
This habit actually makes them relax or hesitate to take on a certain responsibility. Therefore, define responsibilities clearly and let your partner do their part for the family. Moreover, the portion as the head of the household.
4. Love yourself first
Turn your attention to yourself. You should not ignore your own needs or wants and always put your partner's needs first.
Conditions like this will not make your partner aware of every sacrifice you make from day to day, but instead trigger selfish behavior in them. Therefore, focus on your desires, aspirations and happiness first. However, this also needs to be adjusted while fulfilling your responsibilities in the family.
5. Discuss with your partner
You can't just stand by and hope that your partner will change one day. If their actions make you suffer, then talk to them. However, be careful when discussing with your partner so you don't get aggressive and end up with long problems. It's good to be gentle with your partner, but still be firm.
Don't get emotional, shout or maybe blame each other. Use your words, but have to choose carefully what each sentence you want to say.
6. Understand and find out the root of the problem
There may be reasons for the selfish behavior that your partner has. For that, dig deeper and understand why they seem selfish and inconsiderate. This will help you to solve the problem better.
Sometimes, behavior that seems selfish can also be caused by something you've done to him before. Whatever it is, get it down to the bottom to find out the root of your problem.
7. Know the limits of your patience
Although it is important to be patient with your partner, you cannot tolerate it forever. Don't let them take advantage of your good intentions.
If your partner resists all of your efforts to change him, there is not much you can do about it. If they continue to be selfish and also become violent, perhaps moving away from them is an option you can consider. But before you make a decision, make sure to judge your partner properly because you can't conclude that they are selfish based on just a few incidents.
So, those are some proper ways to deal with a selfish partner. Hopefully this is useful and can help solve Moms household solutions, yes!